


Sweetest On The Inside

by cecilia095



Category: New Girl
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Bakery, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:32:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cecilia095/pseuds/cecilia095
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Doe-Eyed Bakery Girl and Nick, sitting in a - What would two pastry-lovers sit in? They ain't gonna be sitting in a tree." <b>AU.</b></p>
            </blockquote>





	Sweetest On The Inside

**Author's Note:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR FRIENDS! To celebrate: a fic!
> 
> My BFF requested this a few days ago and at first I didn't think I'd be able to write it but then I went ahead and attempted to anyway, and this is the result. 
> 
> I won't write her exact exact prompt, because it was in caps lock via text message, but it was something like: _"I NEED ANOTHER AU FIC. This is gonna be fluffy. I want Jess to be that "cute girl that works at the bakery down the road from the loft" and Nick goes there to pick up Schmidt's special cake. Nick always comes back just to buy cupcakes and cookies and shit just to talk to her and then you can slip in Schmidt taking a jab @ Nick's weight gain "OVER A BAKERY GIRL NICK? YOU'RE LETTING YOURSELF GO OVER THE MUFFIN MAN'S DAUGHTER?!" But then Schmidt realizes how much Nick likes Jess so he has her deliver a special cake to the loft but it's really a DATE."_
> 
> Enjoy. <3

It's this little place three blocks down from the loft, and okay - maybe he's supposed to be taking better care of his body, and _maybe_  Schmidt yells at him four to seven times a week about doing more burpees and eating less donuts, but whatever.  
  
Nick's a regular, and Cute Counter Girl is always there too, which is _why_  he's a regular in the first place.  
  
Today he gets a muffin, banana chocolate chip, which isn't his usual, but Cute Counter Girl says the consistency is perfect and she'll give it to him for a dollar instead of two.  
  
"Because you're a regular," she says, adding a wink as she packages his banana chocolate chip muffin. "You know, I actually don't know your name."  
  
"I don't know _yours_. What, you guys don't believe in wearing name tags around here?"  
  
She laughs, her nose wrinkled. He doesn't note how cute that is out loud, only mentally. "We only have three workers. I own the place, and Cece and Sadie are my best friends from forever ago, so naturally I made them work for me. They kind of love it, though."  
  
"You own this place?" He widens his eyes. He's definitely impressed. He has a thing for brunettes with big eyes and business management skills, apparently.  
  
She nods shyly, brushing her bangs off of her forehead. "I'm Jess," she says, reaching over the counter and handing him the muffin. "And you?"  
  
He grabs the muffin, cute box and all, from her - from Jess. Impatiently, he opens it right there in the middle of the empty bakery and takes a bite, and then says, "O-Oh. Sorry. Great muffin. I'm Nick."  
  
—  
  
Nick avoids the bakery for a week because his old roommate Coach is back in town, and if there's one thing Coach is notorious for, (you know, aside from _coaching_ ), it's cutting ass on Nick for not being as in shape as everybody else.  
  
They go for a bunch of runs, and one night instead of drinking, Coach goes, "Get down and give me fifty!", just like that, in the middle of the living room. Nick isn't even sure he can give Coach _five_ , but he gets down anyway.  
  
By day six, Nick's arms are sore and his tailbone hurts and all he wants is a damn cupcake.  
  
—  
  
"Nick, don't forget to pick up my birthday cake. I'd go, but I have a real job."  
  
Dick. Schmidt's one of Nick's roommates, and, for whatever reason, kind of his best friend in the whole wide world. (Seriously. In college they had _sleepovers_. A lot.)  
  
"I do have a real job," Nick says as he's opening the fridge for some orange juice. "It's where you go every night after _your job_ kicks you in the butt."  
  
"Fair point."  
  
Nick chugs two glasses of orange juice and when his other roommate Winston asks if he wants him to pop another waffle in the toaster for him, Nick shakes his head. "I'll grab something while I'm out," he says.  
  
Nick gets to the bakery at a quarter to eleven, and the line is kind of long because it's a Friday morning, and well, maybe people eat more cake on Fridays or something. He has no idea.  
  
He doesn't see Jess from where he's standing, which kind of sucks, because the only reason he volunteered to go and pick up Schmidt's cake was so that he had an excuse to talk to her.  
  
"Next!"  
  
This girl is pretty too - she's tall and she's exotic-looking and she definitely looks like the type of girl Schmidt would bring home. She smiles at him and asks, "Can I help you?" in a too-friendly voice he's almost willing to bet isn't her real voice.  
  
Nick pockets his hands and squints, and then says, "Uhh. I'm picking up. For Schmidt."  
  
"Oh, _Schmidt_." She laughs and walks into the back. "The owner of the Schmidt Cake is here, Jess!"  
  
Nick feels himself get hot. She's here?  
  
The girl, who he hears Jess call 'Cece', races out front with a box the size of a first-grader and no Jess.  
  
"You're not the guy on the cake," Cece says pointedly.  
  
"Yeah, no, that's my douchebag of a best friend. It's his birthday and he won't serve a cake that doesn't have an overly-glorified picture of his stupid face on it.  
  
Cece smiles and then rests the box on the top of the counter, cutting a bunch of ribbon to wrap around it. Before she does, she asks Nick, "Wanna see it?"  
  
"I'm good. I have to see his face every damn day."  
  
"I don't know, he's kind of handsome," she says with a smirk, wrapping a ton of pink and white ribbon around the box.  
  
Nick laughs. "He's in his thirties and he won't have a birthday party unless his picture is on the cake. I don't care how handsome he is."  
  
Just then, Jess races out from the back and stops in her tracks. He thinks her cheeks get pink, but he can't tell for sure. "Nick? Hi! So good to see you," she says, and her voice is wavering. "It's been awhile. You on a diet or something?"  
  
"My friends wish," he says, jokingly patting his middle. "Just been busy. How's business?"  
  
Jess bites her lip and looks around, and then says, "Business is great".  
  
Cece finishes wrapping up Schmidt's cake and hands it to Nick over the counter. "Tell your friend that I hope he enjoys his Schmidt Cake," she says.  
  
"I will, but I'm gonna do us all a favor and leave out the handsome part," Nick teases, grabbing the box.  
  
Jess just does a little wave as Nick turns to leave, and because his hands are full, he just winks back at her. "See ya' around, Jess."

—  
  
The guys meet Jess because it's New Year's Day and they all want pastries and nothing is open except for this one little place a few blocks down.  
  
"I'm telling you, they hooked me up with that Schmidt Cake," Schmidt says as they approach the bakery. "My guests are still raving about it on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and a select few are even talking about it on Vine.  _Vine_ , you guys."  
  
Nick rolls his eyes and turns around, pushing the door open with his back.  
  
Jess claps her hands together and says, "Hey! Our first customers!"  
  
Nick smiles at her and notices how adorable she looks in a cupcake-patterned apron. She's got flour on the side of her face too, but he won't point it out. "Happy New Year, Jess."  
  
She smiles at him, this smile that says more than just, ' _We know each other from behind and in front of a counter_ ', and he smiles back at her, that same smile.  
  
Cece's face-first in one of the cases, fixing a display of muffins, and when she stands up she starts laughing. "Schmidt in the flesh? _The_  Schmidt?"  
  
Schmidt's obviously flattered, because he's a douche, mostly. "Who's asking? If it's you, well then, yeah, it's me, I'm Schmidt."  
  
"I'm Winston, and that cake was _glorious_. You make it?" he asks Cece, and she just shakes her head.  
  
"I just boxed it. Jess is the master behind the Schmidt Cake."  
  
Nick holds a hand to his heart and groans. "Ugh. I'm so sorry you had to deal with that, Jess. I mean, staring at that picture for more than two minutes hurts my eyes."  
  
"I don't know, it didn't bother me, I like what I do," says Jess.  
  
"Yeah, she's kind of married to the job, if you will," Cece says.  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"When's the last time you had a boyfriend?" She puts Jess on the spot, and Jess is stuttering, and then she doesn't say anything, so Cece says, "See? You don't even remember."  
  
Nick doesn't say anything, despite kind of wanting to. After a few awkward seconds pass, he just points to a muffin in one of the cases and says, "Three of those", and Cece packages them up for the guys.

—  
  
Nick waits three days, and then he stops by in the afternoon, hoping Jess is working.  
  
She isn't. Instead, Sadie's there all alone, - at least, he's guessing that's Sadie. The bakery is empty, because it's a Monday afternoon and Nick wouldn't go to a bakery on a Monday afternoon if it weren't to try and "run into" Jess.  
  
"Anything I can help you with?" Sadie asks.  
  
Nick shrugs and pretends to look into one of the cases, as if he hasn't memorized every single item in here. (In case you're wondering: He has. Not his greatest accomplishment, but it could be worse.)  
  
"Um, I'm actually - I'm good," he says, and then he leaves and walks back to the loft with both hands shoved in the pockets of his coat, wondering why the hell he's so intrigued by Cute Counter Girl.  
  
—

"I found that hot girl from the bakery on Facebook," Winston calls out. He's on the couch with a laptop in his lap, and Nick and Schmidt are in the kitchen drinking coffee. 

"No way, anything good?" Nick asks, intrigued.

"I mean, she modeled in Paris a few years ago and she takes hot ass selfies, is that 'good'?"

Schmidt stands up from the kitchen table at the words 'hot ass selfies', so naturally, Nick joins him. He's not one for prying - or Facebook, he's never had a Facebook -, but he's kind of  _super_ into Jess for whatever weird reason, and -

"Um, that's Cece," Nick says flatly, kind of disappointed when Winston flips the screen to he and Schmidt.

"Who else would it be, you dingbat?" Schmidt asks. "'Hot girl from the bakery' means ' _hot girl from the bakery_ '. Cece's clearly got a bright future ahead, I mean, have you _seen_ that cleavage?"

"I just - I thought you meant - I thought it was -"

" _Oh_ ," Winston widens his eyes and makes an 'O' with his mouth and then Schmidt joins him because he's a  _dick_ and anytime an opportunity to laugh at Nick arises he will take it. "You think Jess is hot, man?"

"I mean, I don't know, she's - Whatever, man."

"If Broadway ever made  _Bambi_ into a play, she could be the star," says Schmidt, and he's so proud of himself for that one.

"Wait, is that why you're suddenly super into muffins?" asks Winston. "For Jess?"

"I'm not  _suddenly_ into muffins, Winston. I've always been into muffins."

"That's true," confirms Schmidt. "Back when I was the size of a house, we'd just sit on our dorm room floor, talking about the girls who didn't pay attention to us and eating bags and bags of those disgusting mini muffins."

"Girls didn't pay attention to  _you_ , and  _you_ ate bags and bags of those disgusting mini muffins," Nick says, rolling his eyes. "I just watched and thought:  _When will he die?_ "

Winston shuts his laptop and waves his arms in the air. "Wait wait wait, back to Jess," he says, looking at Nick with narrowed eyes. "Dude, if you're into it, make a move."

"Why? You heard Cece. Jess is 'married to the job', or whatever, and she's not gonna date a customer."

"If you keep eating all her pastries she won't, that's for sure," Schmidt says, reaching an arm out and grabbing onto the waistband of Nick's jeans, giving it a tug.

"DUDE!"

"Sorry, but you could stand to lose  _at least_ eleven pounds, and I want to help you. Come to Booty Burn Boot Camp with me this week, man."

"No way Schmidt."

"I tried. I am  _not_ giving you your insulin when you develop adult on-set diabetes, and neither will Winston. Right Winnie?"

"Hmm, I think I'ma give him his meds, man," Winston says surely.

"Yeah, okay, fine, me too, bro," Schmidt says. "I can't have you dying on me. You're the only person who will let me play my Whale Sounds at bedtime."

Nick scoffs. "I don't ' _let you_ ', buddy, you kind of just do it."

"So..." Winston's wiggling his eyebrows at Nick, and Nick's all, " _What_?", and then he won't stop so Nick has to flip him off.

"Doe-Eyed Bakery Girl and Nick, sitting in a - What would two pastry-lovers sit in? They ain't gonna be sitting in a  _tree_."

—

Schmidt needs to stop by the bakery for a work thing, and naturally, Nick's like, "I'll go!"

"We can go together. I have delicate hands and I'm ordering three platters of decorative cookies. I'll need all the help I can get. Winnie, you in?"

Winston says, "No way, but tell Cece she can have my babies any time she wants."

"Ha, more like  _our_ babies," Schmidt says, huffing. "According to her Facebook, she's Indian. Indian-Jewish babies are the Gods of boring, stupid, regular babies."

Nick and Schmidt get to the bakery around twelve, and both Cece and Jess are working, but it's a Friday and they're packed to the brim.

Jess sees Nick when he gets in line, because she looks down and pushes her bangs out of her face and smiles at the floor. 

"Did you see how long she looked at me?" Nick asks, giving Schmidt a nudge.

"Yeah, she's trying to  _really_ get your description down for the police report. You're her stalker, bro."

"I'm not  _stalking her_ , you asshole."

Ten minutes and a few glances later, Nick and Schmidt are next in line, and Cece takes their order. 

She fills up three boxes with more cookies than they can count, and then when she rings them up she says, "I'll discount it, but only because you paid so much for the Schmidt Cake. And because  _you_ ," she says sharply, but she's not looking at Schmidt, she's looking at  _Nick_ , "are the owner's favorite customer."

—

Nick goes by himself to the bakery the next day, and he breathes out a nervous breath when he pushes the handle on the door. No one's up by the counter, so he kind of just stands near one of the cases and pretends to be super interested in a display of M&M cupcakes.

"H-Hey, I'm sorry, were you waiting long?"

"Jess, hey, no, it's okay."

She nods and grabs a glove from the glove box on the counter, leaning into one of the cases. "One of these?" she asks.

"No, actually, I came to give you something, and you don't  _have_ to take it but I kind of really want you to."

"Don't tell me you tried your hand at baking," she teases. "Because I don't know, I  _might_ have you beat there."

"You might," he teases back, a smirk on his lips. He pauses and tries to calm down, because his breath is so heavy and his heart is in his throat and he's no good at this; at trying for someone. He's Nick Miller, so naturally, he lets whoever wants to come to him, and if it doesn't work out, well, at least he didn't have to try so hard.

He pulls the piece of paper, now crumbled, out from the pocket of his khaki-colored jacket and clears his throat, then hands it to an eager Jess.

She looks at it for a second and then laughs. "Is this your number?"

He freaks out and reaches over the counter, trying to grab the paper back from her. "This was a bad idea, I'm sorry, I'll just -"

"No. It's sweet. I'll call you."

He blinks. What? " _What_?"

"Yeah, I'll call you, Nick."

_—_

It's been five days and Jess doesn't call.

"Why don't you call her, man?" Winston suggests when he's tired of Nick moping around the kitchen.

"I don't have her number, dummy."

Schmidt emerges from his bedroom, his phone in hand, laughing at something on the screen. "What's going on, bros? What's happening? What's the 4-1-1, aside from the obvious fact that Nick can't get himself laid, we know  _that_."

"Why are you so chipper? You're not allowed to be chipper before nine A.M. Or at all. I hate  _chipper_."

"You, my friend, need to take some pointers from  _me_ ," Schmidt says, throwing his phone down a little too hard on the countertop. "I've been messaging Cece."

"My future wife?" Winston asks, grabbing the phone. "Why would you do that?"

"Why wouldn't I? She's hot, she's single, and she likes casual sex - which she was more than happy to tell me six minutes into our conversation."

Winston shakes his head. "That's a polite way of saying: ' _Don't try anything, dude_ '. Trust me, I've been there."

"You're  _always_ there, Winston," says Schmidt, snatching his phone back. "I'm really enjoying our flirtation. She asked me for a D.P."

Nick and Winston grunt in horror, and Schmidt says, "No, not  _that_ D.P. you dummies, a dick pic."

They grunt, again. "Still just as disgusting," says Nick.

"Look, just go visit Jess at work and say, ' _Are we gonna do this thing or what, girl?_ "

"Whoa, no, I'm not saying  _that_ , Schmidt. I'm not asking her to 'do this thing'."

_—_

"Hey, I know you're swamped with customers right now, but I just - Why didn't you call me?"

Jess leans over the counter with a huff, an overly-decorated cupcake in each hand. She smears one on the glass as she leans over and yells, "Damn it!". 

"Sorry," he apologizes. "If this is a bad time..."

"Every time is a bad time," she says, "and that's not your fault. Cece wasn't kidding when she said I'm married to my job."

Nick laughs. "I'm not down on one knee asking you to marry me."

She huffs again, and this time, her bangs fly off of her forehead. Adorable. "I know, I know, but I just - You don't know me, Nick."

"I want to, though. I mean, not just behind the counter, like this; you cutely packaging pastries I shouldn't be eating for me all the time."

Jess blushes and holds up a finger to him, because a customer is yelling about cookies and she's  _swamped_. 

"Look, if you want to do this thing," Nick says, (and he pauses in the middle of his sentence to curse himself for saying ' _do this thing_ '), "then call me."

"And if I don't?" She's teasing him, she has to be.

"Then ya' don't."

Jess waves, cupcake still in hand.

"But I hope you do."

_—_

She doesn't call, but she texts, so that counts, right?

 **Jess:** _I'm bad at this, but you're cute and you're also my #1 customer. I think you must spend $50 a week. Anyway, I hope you're having a good night, whatever you're doing. I guess this is my way of saying I'm thinking about you._

—

Jess calls him the next morning and asks, "Where do you live?"

"Are you stalking me?", is how he answers.

"I might be," she teases.

She sounds so nice over the phone. Her voice is raspy and confident and loud, and Nick loves it, he does. Can you do that, love a voice? Whatever. 

"No, for real, I have a surprise for you," she pleas, and so he caves, he gives Jess the address to the loft and she's surprised at how close it is to her bakery.

"Why do you think your bakery is practically my second home?"

"I don't know, because you like visiting me?"

She's not wrong.

An hour passes and there's a knock at the door. Nick's asleep on the couch, and it's probably  _Winston_ \- friggin' Winston is always forgetting his keys. He sleepily rubs his eyes and opens the door and  _\- whoa_ , hey not-Winston. 

"Am I interrupting?" It's Jess, and she's got a tiny white box with a pink polka dot patterned ribbon around it in her hands. His eyes are groggy, but she's still just as cute, as cute as she is behind that counter.

He looks down to the floor at her black ballet flats and laughs. "You're so much taller at the bakery."

"It's the floors. Anyway. I don't need to come in, I just wanted to drop this off for you. Baked it on my day off."

"You do the thing you do at work all day on your day off? Cece wasn't kidding."

Jess shoves the box toward him. "Just take it. It's a cupcake using this new, gluten-free recipe I'm trying. If you hate it, your pastries are free for a year."

He pretends to be disgusted at 'gluten-free', but then he widens his eyes. 

"No, okay, six months. I _do_ have a business to run here."

Nick unwraps the ribbon from the box. "Should I eat it now?"

"Sure, why not, but I have to go. I promised Cece we'd get cocktails."

Nick nods. "Thanks for this."

"No, don't - don't thank me, it's - Just enjoy it."

—

 **Nick:** _It's official. You're a baking Goddess. I wasn't even mad about it being gluten-free and I hate that hippie shit._

—

The bakery closes at five on Sundays, and it's 4:58 right now, but he tries anyway, because he really wants to see her.

He pushes the door open and Cece is behind the counter counting the register, Sadie on the floor sweeping. 

"Oooh... Your lover boy is here, Jess!" Cece calls out, and he sees Sadie check him out.

"You know, I'm a lesbian, but I would," she says, turning to Cece. 

Jess comes out from the back and says to both Cece and Sadie, "You two close up. And remember, no ribbon gets left behind! Seriously. Pack them all up." Then she clears her throat and walks up to Nick, and she looks genuinely happy to see him, which  _phew_ , thank God. "Um. Let's take a walk," she says, slipping on her coat.

"I'm sorry to just... show up. I just wanted to see you."

"No, you're good, it's sweet." She pockets her hands and walks beside Nick. He's just walking straight because she never gave him a destination, and he's too nervous to ask her for one. "So, ' _baking Goddess_ ', huh? Was it that good?"

"I bragged about it to Schmidt and Winston for twenty-four hours straight, so yeah, it was."

"Ew. Ugh. Schmidt." Jess wrinkles her nose. "Sorry, it's just, my best friend thinks he's  _so_ hot. She doesn't shut up about it. ' _Schmidt called me 'angel face' today, you know. Ugh, he's just... the_ hottest," she mocks in a voice that sounds nothing like Cece's. 

"I think they have a strictly Sexting relationship, so we have nothing to worry about. He's too afraid of girls like Cece for real. He messes up too much."

"Yeah?" Jess seems intrigued. "What about you? What's your life in the Dating Department like?"

He laughs. "Non-existent?" She looks like she doesn't believe him, but he says, "No, seriously, I've had one serious girlfriend, a bunch of failed, one-sided crushes, and a few random hookups."

Jess looks to the ground, then up at Nick, swallowing hard. "I had one boyfriend. Spencer. After he cheated on me, I opened up this bakery. Sort of a nice, 'Screw you' to someone who thinks you're worthless, you know?"

Nick wants to rub the small of her back, but he doesn't, he won't. "You're not, though."

"We dated for six years," she says, and she holds up her right hand, and then her index finger on her left hand, to indicate six, because, - " _Six years_ ", she emphasizes. "I would've married him in a heartbeat."

"Aren't you glad you didn't, though?" asks Nick.

"Hell yeah. Now I live with Cece and she lets me dance in the living room and hang up my Lilith Fair posters all over the apartment, so."

"What the hell is a 'Lilith'?"

"You have a lot to learn," she says, and she's laughing at him like knowing what a Lilith is is a normal, everyday, must-know thing.

He looks to his right and realizes they walked in a circle around the block. They're back in front of the bakery now, and he doesn't know how to say goodbye to her, or if he's supposed to invite her to his place, or -

"Why don't you come over tomorrow?"

Wow. She beat him to it.

"M-Me?"

"No, I'm talking to the hydrant," she says sarcastically. "Yes, you. Come over. I'll teach you how to bake a mean gluten-free cupcake  _and_ simultaneously educate you on Lilith Fair and its importance."

"Okay, well, it's a date."

_—_

Her apartment is more Cece than it is Jess, because it was Cece's first and one day Jess kind of just moved all of her stuff into it and made it work, but it does, it works. 

They're in the kitchen and Jess ties an apron around herself, and then says, "Your turn", and she moves to Nick's backside and tosses one up over his head.

"I'm sorry it's so plain. All of my cute aprons are at my shop."

Nick looks down to the all-white apron and laughs, wrinkling his nose. "It's perfect. Um. I'll be honest, the only thing I know how to cook is instant oatmeal."

"So I guess we'll have to eat out if we ever go on a date, huh?"

He feels his cheeks get hot. "Unless there's a way to make instant oatmeal sexy and romantic."

Jess gets all of the ingredients for her cupcakes out, and Nick kind of just watches her, admiring how fast she moves and how  _into it_ she is. Like, he's never seen someone smile so big over  _frosting_.

'Baking together' is more like: Jess prepares the ingredients, Jess mixes the ingredients, Jess puts the ingredients into the oven, Nick stands against the counter and watches - (mostly watches  _Jess_ , but).

After the cupcakes are in the oven, Jess turns to Nick and claps her hands together. "I just realized how un-sexy that activity was," she says, burying her face in her hands.

"No, it wasn't, I just -"

Jess takes a breath, and then she stands up on her toes and sort of just plants one on him, but he doesn't  _realize_ she's trying to plant one on him, so she misses and catches his cheek.

"Oh my God," she says, horrified, "I'm so sorry."

Nick thinks it's kind of cute - the failed cheek kiss, and the way she's freaking out over the failed cheek kiss. After a few more seconds of Jess's paranoia, Nick just shakes his head and tugs her in by the wrist. Without thinking, he pulls her in for a kiss, one hand still on her wrist. He brings his right hand up to cup her cheek, and the kiss deepens, and she  _definitely_ just got flour all over his nose but he doesn't care.

When they both pull away, he breathes out for a second, and Jess is kind of standing in front of him, just blinking.

"Don't be sorry."

—

The guys decide to stay in. No girls, lots of HBO,  _lots_ of beer.

"Check out this sexy selfie Cece sent me yesterday," says Schmidt, tossing his phone over to Nick.

Without looking, Nick tosses it back and says, "Ugh, you're a douche."

"Fine, but you're missing out, my man."

Winston opens a beer for himself and takes a swig. "Nick, how's everything with Jess? You making babies yet?"

"Not really, man. But we  _did_ make a mess in her kitchen yesterday."

Schmidt sits up, intrigued. "Kitchen sex?! Oh glory be, Nicholas, you're finally not against doing it on the counter? I feel like a proud father. I'm - I'm going to need a minute." He dramatically holds up his hand and gulps and then makes his way over to where Nick is sitting on the couch and plants this obnoxious smooch right on his mouth.

Nick swipes at his mouth in disgust. "I DIDN'T LIKE IT THE FIRST SIX TIMES YOU DID THAT AND I DON'T LIKE IT NOW!"

"Right, you like it when Jess kisses you. On  _counters_."

"We didn't have sex on her counter, man. We  _baked_."

"' _Baked_ ', if I remember correctly from your wild college years, was... Hmm... That's pot, right?"

"Oh my God, are you - We baked. Jess is a  _baker_. We made cupcakes."

Schmidt starts to crack up. "Oh - Oh my God, what's next, are - Are you gonna take her on a date to Barbie's Dweamhouse? Wittle Nick likes to play with Bwarbies."

" _Little Nick_ ," Nick starts, taking a swig of beer, "for your information," another swig, "is  _dying_ , because  _Little Nick_ hasn't seen any V in  _months_."

Schmidt lifts up his phone. "Oh, you want to see  _V_? Here, hold on, Cece sent me a picture, you -"

"You're the stupidest person alive, Schmidt!"

"You _baked cupcakes_ with a girl you're trying to woo! Who does that?!"

"Someone who doesn't say the word 'woo', ya' moron!"

—

He visits Jess just as she's opening up for the morning. He's not a morning person, - he's not an  _anytime_ person, all times of day  _suck_ -, but he visits her before she's really open because he has to see her, and when he comes inside she leans over the counter and smooches him on the side of the mouth.

"Oh. Hey." He laughs, because he wasn't expecting it. "I guess I just came to say 'have a good day'."

Jess smiles and pushes her bangs out of her face, and then she lifts up a white paper bag and hands it to him. "There's a muffin for you, and two for Schmidt and Winston, if they want."

"You trying to make us all fat? Schmidt already comments on my weight enough."

She scrunches her nose. "Enjoy your muffins."

—

Nick doesn't think about anybody but Jess, really. It can be nine, ten P.M. at work, all of the regulars swarming the bar, beer after beer after beer, but he thinks about Jess and her little patterned aprons and the way her eyes get excited when she talks about something she loves, and the way she gets all unfamiliarly serious when she talks about something she doesn't, and - He doesn't rush into things. He doesn't  _anything_ into things. He lets things come to him, which is why Caroline got tired of trying, which is why Amelia was all, 'I'm over it, you never even call me first!', which is why the three customers he let sleep with him never want to sleep with him again.

But Jess is  _Jess_ , and she's different. She's worth trying for, he thinks, or else why the hell would he post up at a bakery all the time? He didn't even like bakeries before Jess. Seriously. He liked those terrible-for-you 7-Eleven honey buns and powdered donuts, the ones they tell you not to eat because they're literal  _shit_ but people eat them anyway.

He calls her in the middle of a Friday night shift, around midnight, and he doesn't expect her to answer. He's crouched down underneath the bar, phone pressed roughly against his ear because it's  _loud_. 

"Nick? Hi! I was just thinking about you."

"You were?" He laughs into the phone. "Me too, Jess. Which is why I called you. What are you doing?"

"Just out with some friends," she says, and she probably hears the noise, because she asks, "You're at work, aren't you?"

"How'd ya' know?"

"Lucky guess. 

"Hey, look, I just - Have a good night, Jess." He's terrible at talking on the phone. Once, he asked Winston for pointers, because Winston's really, strangely good at talking on the phone. He just laughed and was like, ' _Ha, you wish you had the phone skills of Winnie the Bish, Miller_ '.

"Um." She swallows loud enough so he can hear it. "Okay. You too!"

—

"Cece told me that Jess told her that  _you_ , my friend, are one confusing specimen."

"Okay, she didn't call me ' _one confusing specimen_ ', you idiot. But wait, hold on, are you - What did Jess say about me and better yet, why are you and Cece talking about it? You two don't talk! You send each other gross, weird texts."

"Ha." Schmidt pulls out his phone and opens his messages with Cece, and he scrolls for a second until he says, "Ah-ha! Here. ' _Nick just called Jess up and said to have a good night and that's it and she thought he was calling to ask her to be his girlfriend but he didn't because she doesn't think he can tell her what he wants_ '." Nick looks embarrassed, and Schmidt asks, "Did you do that? You did, didn't you Nicholas? You dumb boy!"

"What was I supposed to do, profess some kind of undying love for her through a  _phone call_?"

"Step one would've been to, I don't know, not be a  _buffoon_."

"I'm not buffoon,  _you're_  buffoon."

"Well it's  _a_ buffoon, not ' _buffoon_ ', so."

Nick clears his throat. "I've been trying to ask her to be my girlfriend for days but I don't know how to."

"I think I have an idea, but it's going to involve messy kitchens,  _lots_ of egg yolk and an apron that says 'Kiss the Cook'."

"Oh God, are you gonna bring Cece over here and screw her in our kitchen?"

"Um." Schmidt bites the inside of his cheek. "Now that you mention it... But no. We, my friend, are baking a cake."

—

Jess doesn't text all day, or all afternoon, and by the evening, the cake is done so it's okay, he'll find a way to get her over to the loft.

 **Nick:** _I don't know if you're talking to me or not but I'm_ _gonna need you to come by my place tonight. 7:00. You don't have to dress up. I'll probably be in pajamas._

"No you most certainly will not be, Nicholas!" says Schmidt, nosily hovering over Nick's phone. "Text her back and say:  _Scratch that, I will definitely be in a suit._ "

"You're an idiot. I'm not wearing a  _suit_ for this, man."

 **Jess:** _Busy. Work stuff. Sorry._

—

"Cece, if you do me this favor, I swear, I'll take you on a real date."

"Um. If I do you this favor, promise me you'll never take me on a real date,  _ever_."

"Oh. Okay. Even easier!" Schmidt smiles into the phone and shoots a thumbs-up over to a melancholy Nick. "Get her to the loft by seven. We're pressed for time here."

—

By some miracle, Cece convinces Jess to come up to the loft. "I have to pick up something from Schmidt," she lies. "I think he wants another portrait cake done."

"What a douche," Jess says, rolling her eyes as the two of them step up to the door of Apartment 4D. Cece holds out a hand and knocks, and much to Jess's surprise, Schmidt's not the one who answers.

"Um." She gulps. "I thought you were - But Schmidt - The cake -"

Cece shrugs. "Have fun! Bye!"

"What?! Don't leave me here, Cece. You're fired!"

"You wouldn't," she says with a smirk. 

"I know I'm not your favorite person right now. Schmidt told me that Cece told him that you told her you don't think I know what I want."

"That's right," says Jess, like she's not ashamed. Her hands are shoved in the pockets of the peacoat that looks like it won't be coming off anytime soon. She stomps her foot and pouts her lips. "I like you, Nick, and I thought things were going  _so well_ , like - Okay, this is stupid, but I told my mom about you, and I never tell my mom about anyone because she's always like, ' _Get that sperm cookin'!_ ' and I don't want you to cook your sperm for me, I don't, not - not _yet_ , but -"

Nick's laughing.

Jess freezes. "Wait, why are you laughing? Is it the sperm thing? Do I have flour in my hair or something? Cece annoyingly dragged me right from work. I told her I wanted to shower."

"Just - Can you come in the kitchen? Please?"

She does, but only because she likes him a little too much.

"Look, as cute as you are when you pout like that Jess, just - Just read the cake."

"Read the ca -" She stops mid-sentence and walks over to the counter. On top of it is a chocolate cake that looks like something _her cakes_ would eat for breakfast or something. He's a terrible baker, and a terrible cake decorator, but luckily Schmidt has neater handwriting than him and was able to write, "WILL YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?" on top in periwinkle colored icing.

Jess is biting down on her lip and she turns to Nick like she doesn't believe him. "Wait, for real?"

"Mhm."

"Like,  _for real_ for real?"

"Jess, it's right there on the cake,  _yes_."

"Then yes, yes, but -"

"Oh God, please don't be like, ' _Plot twist: Only if it tastes good!_ '."

"Plot twist: Only if it tastes good! Kidding. Kind of. But - Wait." She prances over to him excitedly and lets the weight of her body fall onto Nick's.

He kisses her hard, because he doesn't want to be around Jess, -  _wait_ , his  _girlfriend_ -, and not kiss her. 

"But seriously," she says as she pulls her mouth off of his, "I'm trying this cake."

He warns her, "You're gonna be disappointed."

She shrugs and lets him cut her a piece. He cuts right into the word girlfriend. She's eating 'G-I-R'. 

She takes one bite and wrinkles her nose and says, "Napkin! Napkin!" with a mouthful of cake still.

"That bad?"

" _Terrible_ ," she says, laughing at how quickly Nick raced to go and get her a napkin, and also at the fact that he's letting her spit his cake right into it. "We're never baking together, you know."

"Good, because I'm your boyfriend and I'm never letting you marry your job again."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my best friend for being my idea (wo)man/putting up with all of my weird fic ideas/ACTUALLY READING WHAT I WRITE.
> 
> <3 <3 <3


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